Friday, July 19, 2013

The X-Files Season 6, Episode 13: Agua Mala

What the fuck did I just watch?

No, seriously, what is this episode? Never mind the weird premise of a monster made out of sea water, but what was with the random jumble of ridiculous caricatures? Who thought this was a good idea?

Was this supposed to be funny? I mean, it was at times, but it was also completely absurd. Actually, it was beyond completely absurd. 'Syzygy' was completely absurd. This was completely off the rails, and not in a good way. I didn't like 'Syzygy' for the very specific reason that it was uncomfortable watching Mulder and Scully constantly snipping at each other. I didn't like 'Agua Mala' because it can barely be called an episode.

I think the idea might have been OK if say, we'd seen the monster some time between the cold open and the third act. But the entire first half of the episode was set up of a bunch of characters we didn't really care about and knew we would never see again. And those characters were kind of horrible. The first scene with Deputy Greer was somewhat amusing, because it's not often that Mulder's and Scully's FBI credentials are questioned, but it was pretty much all downhill from there.

So let's see. We have:

Mulder
Scully
Deputy Greer (dissolveddeceased)
41-weeks pregnant woman
Loser boyfriend with delusions of husband
Paranoid anti-government douche
Random looter

Where's the looter planning on taking that TV, exactly? Did he leave his car there, too? Electronics and water don't usually get along very well. He was also completely shameless and pretty compassionless about the whole thing. Sure, take the ring off the unconscious and slowly dying police officer. No one will notice that. Oh right, and he also accidentally killed the officer by dumping an entire container of epsom salt into the tub. WHOOPS. I guess this was all meant to be funny? He really was the most incompetent looter I've ever seen.

And why the couple? To force a situation where someone would need to use the bathroom a lot? Or just to add random tension by having her go into labour? (And have it resolved absurdly quickly.) Why'd the other neighbour have to be one of those right wing militia types (Tea Partier now)? Don't they usually live in places like Montana and Idaho?

There wasn't even a strong message from this. Like, "Hey, look at these random people, thrown in together and making the most of a horrible situation, turning to each other in their desperation to save lives." Or something cheesy like that. Nope, all just played for comedy.

The other thing I thought was completely terrible here was that the resolution was worse than your typical deus ex machina. They barely even explained what happened. Fresh water was the key, but then what? Are they implying these creatures living in a human host are merely a form of dehydration?

There was tension and buildup and a woman in labour and a gunshot and then ... INSTANT RESOLUTION. Just add water.

They were trying to do way too much in this episode. Unlike an absurd episode like 'Syzygy' or even the great 'War of the Coprophages', the tension didn't actually come from the case they were investigating or the unknown or unseen monster. It came entirely from the situation of being holed up in a mostly evacuated apartment building with a bunch of people who otherwise would never have interacted with each other. That could happen at any time, and it wasn't very X-Files-ish.

Also, why waste a character like Arthur Dales, last seen in 'Travelers', which actually had significance, even if I had issues with the episode, on something like this?

This episode was a sitcom, and not a very good one.

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